why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think my moral compass just broke
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
