ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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