And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
