We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
