I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
high people should be assigned attendants
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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