I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
