She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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