If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
