Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
