Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize