Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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