He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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