Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
