I heard we made out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
