I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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