She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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