remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
