ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
