Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
