I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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