Well apparently he's into motor boating.
farters have to be the big spoon...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
