Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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