I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
