You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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