:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
