oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
