Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Alive.
So much puke
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I did not marry a roomba.
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