please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
