white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
