I CAN MOONWALK!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
