We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
