I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
