so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
