i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
