shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
