I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
