I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
