So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
