i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
