I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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