Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
