The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
