hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
