Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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