her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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