I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
