The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
