i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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