I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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