Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
