party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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