Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
